Marriage: How to Make a Silent Husband Talk

by Angel Cuala

Wives are known to do more talking while the husband makes a good listener. But it is also unhealthy if the husband does not talk enough. Being a good provider is not sufficient to be called a good husband. You must also know his ideas about future plans for the children, house improvement and most of all, his feelings for you. Although you knew about his unique habit of silence all along since your dating days, you can try some things to change him gradually now that you are living together. Here of some strategies that might work for you:

Talk softly. Raising your voice would not make him talk. Do not attempt to perform reverse psychology. It is better to always maintain a low tone when you talk to him. There will be some times that you cannot understand his silence but you must keep your composure at all times. Whispering about sweet nothing can help trigger his attention and he may respond enthusiastically. After all, your husband is not deaf. He just prefers to be silent.

Ask for suggestions. If you have something to say, leave a question. In this way, he will start to talk and may be able to explain further. Try to ask questions that requires long answers like what if, what should be and how about. If you are not satisfied with his short answers, ask another question that relates to the first. But you must be quick in making the follow up question so that his attention will still be there.

Have a good sense of humor. Everybody has a funny bone and you must discover the ways how to find his. Always reserve a funny film or book that you can share with him. You can also make yourself look funny or perform a practical joke that he will not get offended. If he starts to laugh, then divert the topic slowly until it becomes serious. If you can make him laugh, it is easier to make him talk.

Leave letters for him. Although it is now the age of electronic mails, leaving a note in his cabinet or near the car keys can start a good conversation. He may not respond through his voice but replying through a pen is just enough to express his ideas. A man of few words does not mean he cannot write a lot. By doing this frequently, you may be surprised that one day your pen will not be needed anymore.

Schedule a private talk. Prepare a list of good topics to discuss and invite him to a watch a movie or a park where you can be alone. If you have children, ask a close relative or friend to watch over them so that the talk can be longer. However, do not insist to talk about things that he does not want to talk about yet. The more you force him, the more he will not talk. Instead, ask him gently when the right time he will be available for it.

Ask his friends. Know his close friends and office mates, and learn from them. Although they may have the same problems with your husband, they can still somehow provide suggestions that they think are effective but are hesitant to try. You can also ask them how to find the right timing, especially when he is not too busy with his work like just having completed a big project.

Actions may speak louder than words, but words are more powerful than actions.

About the Author

I am a Filipino engineer who recently found himself more comfortable in writing letters rather than numbers. For more quality articles on how to have a successful marriage, and what marriage is all about, please feel free to visit Successful Marriage Tips at http://www.whatmarriageisallabout.blogspot.com.